7 Seconds or Less: Sympathy for the David

With the lockout in full bloom, I present you with David Stern’s theme song, sung to the melody of a certain Rolling Stones hit song.

Please allow me to introduce myself
I’m a man of wealth and taste

I’ve been around for a long, long year
Ruined many a games and teams
And I was round when Dan Gilbert
Desperately bought the Cavs
Made damn sure that the League Office
Approved their sale to seal their fate

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game

I stuck around Colangelo
When I saw it’s time for a change
Killed the Suns and the league
Steve Nash screamed in vain

I rode Ted Leonsis’ bus
When Arenas raged
And guns were pulled

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
Ah, what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah

I watched with glee
While the Kahns and Isiahs
Destroyed their teams
For their own gains

I shouted out,
Who killed the league?
When after all
It was them and me

Let me please introduce myself
I’m a man of wealth and taste
And I made LeBron, Bosh and Wade
Join up in Miami as runaways

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what’s confusing you
Is just the nature of my game

Just as every player is a bussinessman
And all the owners are not saints
As losses are wins
Just call me David Stern
Cause I’m in need of some restraint
So if you meet me

Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned poiltesse

Or I’ll lay your season to waste, um yeah
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, um yeah
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, um mean it, get down

Woo, who

Oh yeah, get on down

Oh yeah

Oh yeah!

Tell me baby, what’s my name
Tell me honey, can ya guess my name
Tell me baby, what’s my name
I tell you one time, you’re to blame.

If you want to cover this in audiovisual passion, just be sure to give sunngun.com and me credit for this. Oh, and link me to it, so I can show it off!